Bunch of funny Jokes and stuff for you guys :p

[X@nder]

To help pass more time heres some stuff that made me laugh out loud....


-------------------

For all you grandmas out there (and a few of you who aren't)!There goes the theory that Grandmas know everything!

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few
days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while
when he came into the house and asked , "Grandma, what is that called when people are sleeping on top of each other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the
truth... "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk
and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called
Bunk Beds!!!!!!!!!!!"

-------------------

The photo booth >>http://www.youtube.com/player.swf?vi...57&s=B4BC76752<<

-------------------

One strange dog(rat?) >>http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1139477125/Horny_Dog

-------------------

The man was laying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult surgical
procedure A young, student nurse came in to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know sir, I'm only here
to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse,
aremy testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from
worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis
in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them
around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir." The patient pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......

Scholl down.. hehe
















"Ar e -- m y -- t e s t -- r e s u l t s -- b a c k?"

-------------------

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first-class section of a plane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered and shook for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and shuddered quite violently once more.

Assuming the woman might have a cold that caused the sneezing, the man was still curious about the shuddering, but went back to his book.

A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shook even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman, and asked,

"I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose, then shuddered violently. Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied in a soft voice. "I have a very rare medical condition. When I sneeze, I have an . . orgasm."

The man, now more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. I've never heard of a condition like that before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

"Yes," the woman replied. "Pepper."

-------------------

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the
street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the
Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."

The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka." Finally the
Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want,so make me piss vodka."

The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the
cupboard and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka.
Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best
vodka he has ever tasted.

The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha,
come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass
out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, it is vodka. Natasha
is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka she has ever
tasted. The two drink and party all night.

The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to get two
glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is
the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Russian comes home and tells his wife, "Natasha
grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka. "His wife gets the glass
from the cupboard and sets it on the table.

The Russian begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife asks him, "But
Boris, why do we need only one glass?"

Boris
raises the glass and says, "Because tonight, my love, you drink from the bottle!"

-------------------




More to come.....

[X@nder]

-------------------

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism .

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where one cow with mad cow disease' is located among the millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

-------------------

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism .

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where one cow with mad cow disease' is located among the millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

-------------------

DAMN THIS IS FUNNY - Presisdent speach on global warming

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHold...47&pID=1379173

-------------------

English Kung Fu - http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=339

-------------------

More to come...

[Leon_the_Great]

http://www.break.com/index/nwordteacher.html

haha, he just keeps digging the hole

[Landain]

Originally Posted by Leon_the_Great

http://www.break.com/index/nwordteacher.html

haha, he just keeps digging the hole

"When a black man uses that derrogatory term it gives the white man permission to use it. It's like saying, It's OK, to call me a nigger." Samuel L. Jackson, Coach Carter.

Unfortunately many young people have not learned that lesson yet.